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Most of us grew up thinking dating was a game of chance. Swipe enough, meet enough, and maybe you’ll find “the one.” But what happens when you’re 30, career-focused, and emotionally mature?
For many, the current ecosystem doesn’t work. Quick-swipe dating apps are too transactional; matrimonial platforms are worse.
This exact scenario drove Shalini Singh to build andwemet. She built a matchmaking community that’s ditched fancy apps. Her own story is inseparable from the problem she’s solving.
7,000+ members in just one year.
146 matches leading to marriages.
Not a single photograph on the platform.
The problem Indians don’t talk about
Shalini’s journey began with rejection. From age 19 to 26, she was introduced to prospective grooms in traditional arranged marriage setups. The feedback was consistently brutal: “ladki kaali hai” (the girl is dark-complexioned).
I never understood what complexion has got to do with finding a partner.
Those rejections sparked a decade-long journey of self-discovery and eventually, a business idea.
Her insight? Indians simply don’t know how to date. We rush into emotional investments, make poor safety choices, and treat dating like “instant coffee that you just mix in water.” The reality is more nuanced; it needs time to brew.
Andwemet’s unconventional approach
All other platforms compete on algorithms and swipe mechanics. Andwemet operates entirely on WhatsApp through three channels:
- Community discussions: Where members share experiences
- Support channel: For guidance and assistance
- Matching bot: Where profile details and searches happen
Andwemet prioritises conversations, discussions, and safe introductions. Members learn dating as a skill. They are asked to set non-negotiables. They are told to keep early meetings activity-based. They are advised to avoid emotional over-investment in the first few weeks.
The application process is deliberately stringent. They get 45-50 applicants daily, and not everyone’s accepted. They have more women than men. Most importantly, no photographs are shared. Every introduction requires upfront investment to prevent casual behaviour.
If I want to connect with you, there’s a little upfront investment I need to make. If I’m doing it callously, I’m not going to do it for the right intentions
Why andwemet’s method works
The platform focuses on three core principles that set it apart:
Emotional intelligence over algorithms
Members participate in community discussions about healthy dating practices. Topics range from “why you shouldn’t text for hours before a meeting” to “how to handle family disapproval of your choice.”
Safety through education
Rather than just matching people, andwemet teach members how to date safely. First dates should be activities, not dinners. Meet during the day. Don’t share your address initially. Split costs until you’re exclusive.
Quality over scale
The team measures success by “confidence restored and burnout reduced” rather than just the number of users or matches. Their 180-day framework gives singles a structured approach to finding long-term partners.
| Timeline | Activity | Purpose |
|---|---|---|
| Week 1-2 | Self-reflection & defining 3 non-negotiables | Clarity on what you want |
| Week 3-4 | Platform research & profile setup | Strategic positioning |
| Month 2-3 | Active searching & first meetings | Building dating skills |
| Month 4-6 | Deeper connections & decision making | Finding your person |
The founder behind the movement
Shalini isn’t your typical tech founder; she freely admits she’s not technical at all. After struggling with app development and wrong business partners, she nearly shut down andwemet in June 2024.
Then she discovered WhatsApp Communities. “I was scrolling on my phone, saw communities on WhatsApp, learned about it, called my team member and said, ‘let’s start a community.'”
That pivot decision transformed everything. Within a year, they’ve built a thriving community with minimal tech overhead and maximum human connection.
Her philosophy is refreshingly direct:
Trust is built over time. Sometimes months, sometimes years. How can you trust from day one? You cannot and should not.
Early validation and growth
The numbers tell a compelling story:
- 7,000+ community members in 12 months
- 146 successful matches (many leading to engagements/marriages)
- Organic growth primarily through word-of-mouth
- Extremely affordable pricing compared to traditional matchmaking services
Andwemet has created something rare in the dating space – a supportive community. A community where being single in your 30s doesn’t feel isolating.
Earlier, our members felt they were alone. Now they’re glad to see there are so many singles like them who haven’t found their person, and they see hope.
Beyond matchmaking: the vision
Their plans include building more micro-communities. The broader ambition? Changing how India approaches relationships entirely. They want their users to make emotionally mature and self-aware choices.
The takeaway
In today’s world, dating is driven by algorithms and endless swipes. andwemet takes a different path. It keeps things simple, focusing on community, learning, and real human connection. The result is something most apps fail to create: genuine relationships.
We live one life and we don’t realise it. You have 60 years left or 50 years left. And you will not realise how these 50 years will also pass.
For millions of singles in India, this isn’t just about dating. It’s about finding hope in the middle of family pressure, social stigma, and confusion.
For early-stage investors, this isn’t just a dating app story. It’s an example of a founder-led pivot, a clear wedge into an underserved market and a new model that could redefine Indian matchmaking.
Watch the full episode with Shalini Singh. It’s a conversation where she discusses her journey, background, and vision for andwemet.
Andwemet is featured in The First Brick series. The series highlights promising early-stage companies.
What are your thoughts on andwemet by Shalini Singh? Tell us in the comments below.
Did you read last week’s article on Genezez, a founder-to-founder marketplace by Aiju T Biju and Athul Peter? Read it here.
